“by george, I do believe she’s got it!”
If you have read my “Confessions of a Church Planter” notes on Facebook, and or listened to my talks in the Wine and the Wineskin series then you’ll have no trouble understanding why this is one of the most encouraging e-mails that I have ever received. My love and appreciation to the sender who’s name I have deleted for publication purposes:
Paul,
My purpose in writing you is to encourage and to say thank you. I know it’s been a while since I’ve corresponded, and that is precisely what I want to share with you. I’ve been on (and am still on) a journey that has had me on a very bewildering, yet God-ordained road. The floundering was not fun, but since I’ve been walking it for a few months now, I can see things more clearly as I turn around. From this vantage point, I see it as an amazing and completely necessary part of my Journey.
It all started when I was listening to one of your teachings posted online. You made a comment that stopped me in my tracks. You said that you could not be anyone’s pastor. I didn’t like that statement, because I wanted you to be my pastor. But this was what God used to break open a HUGE problem that He knew I was having. I had simply replaced the uncaring, slanderous, unkind…(etc.) pastors of my past, with you and Steve (and others…but mostly you and Steve). You were safe. I was drawn to the Jesus in you. That of course was fine, but the danger came when I was trying to lean on you guys, instead of Father. After leaving “the building,” I just replaced one person for other people.
So, I stopped writing both you and Steve when I had questions. I decided to start asking God first and let Him answer me when and how He wanted. It’s funny, one of the things I asked Him and left with Him…He answered through one of your teachings just a few days later. That’s when He showed me that it isn’t a rule about asking other people questions….but to let God choose who He will speak through to answer a question, or lead me in some way and not seek direction from people. Another day I cried out to God in total frustration about something, and the next day (after sharing my frustration with my Mom) she called me and told me to turn on Grace Walk Radio. Steve was who God used to answer the questions that I had poured out to God the day before. I learned a valuable lesson: Share questions and concerns with people-that’s fine…but let them be people…and trust that God will answer you in His way and His time.
There have been numerous other situations that would make this WAY to long if I went into…but the point is that I understand the people that initially might get upset with you or Steve when you won’t be the pastor they want you to be for them. And they are hoping that you will come in and be what another so disappointingly was not. They can’t say “thank you for not being my pastor” initially…because they are struggling with the pain that others have inflicted on them. But one day they too will say, “Thank you for not letting us put you in the place that only God should be in.”
I think that whether it’s a teacher who says, “don’t make me your pastor” or just a situation that reveals a teacher’s imperfections and humanness…it’s a blessing. It causes people to stop putting people in the place where God should be.
We go from trying to suck Life from an institution or the leader of an institution to just transferring our umbilical cord to someone else. God is teaching me that Life comes from Him and He only ever meant for us to live out of our union with Him. He will use many different people, situations, circumstances, scripture verses…. but there is no person or book that can replace all that He is. So, thank you for continuing to point us all to Jesus. It’s amazing to watch how He works and who He chooses to speak through and guide through.
I hope that this is encouraging. You (and Steve) have been SUCH an encouragement to me. I just felt compelled to share this latest part of my Journey. I won’t say, “God bless you”…because I know that He already is blessing you and will forever continue to do so. 
Some Early Replies to the FB thread …
“So true! God has shown me the same thing….and wow, how exciting it is to completely lean on Him and allow the Holy Spirit to give us all the teaching that we need. Cause God knows us better than we know ourselves, He knows exactly how to get the teaching to us and how to say it so it will make sense to us!”
“This is so amazing, wonderful and oh so true. God is a jealous God and I know if we lean on other people instead of God, He will pull us away from those we lean on or idolize. And that is good. The best teachers and those who know their total dependence upon God will point us away from them to God, because God will NOT share His glory with anyone including those we want to put up on a pedestal. Bravo….. And those pastors who enjoy people being dependent upon them; this is part of God’s plan for them I’m sure, when God shows them they are playing God. Isn’t life great!”
“Can you see all the people in a given church, all with their umbilical cords attached to the Pastor ?! HA ! NO WONDER pastors burn out so fast, trying to feed all those people with food he doesn’t have to give ! what a great analogy the writer of this email to Paul gives !”
